Tantric Har and Subagh Kriya

Last Fall, in September, I believe, I accidentally googled 'Tantric Har', the chant to which Subagh Kriya for Prosperity is done. Then in October I heard the Ray Man Shabd in Sat Inder's class. I had to have it, borrowed it, and copied it right away...listening to it non-stop, and all the while hearing the phrase 'Bound Lotus' in my head. In my mind's eye I saw the cover of the only Kundalini Yoga Aquarian Times magazine I ever received stored somewhere in my home. I found it, and also the article on Bound Lotus, which described how the Ray Man Shabd is recited while doing Bound Lotus. My spine lit up!

Also in that issue were an article on Japji, which had caught my eye; the Meditation of Change ( which, incidentally, involves the mudra pictured on Lululemon's announcement for their new store); and the complete practice of Subagh Kriya, part of which is done to Tantric Har. I feel drawn to all of it, though Bound Lotus was the only practice I committed to first. I've done the first part of Subagh Kriya (which can be done seperate) for almost 40 Days. I tried the full practice today. It felt good to do except for the last part. Inhaling only for 20 seconds, holding the breath in for 20 seconds, and exhaling slowly for 20 seconds made me so full of intense anxiety. The kind that in the past would have sent me to the bathroom cabinet for a Xanax or Valium. I started to hyperventilate...I need to do this.

I have so much more fear to let go of if I want to go to Summer Solstice and take KRI training. I need $808 to go to Solstice. I need $4'500 to take Teacher Training. I had $1400 saved, but had to spend it on a new car. I've since lost $150 in income and taken on a $237 monthly car payment. There was no other way...I needed the car. I need a reliable source of income that still allows me to teach. I need to be at Summer Solstice and at KRI Teacher Training. I've had so much bad luck over the years, and now it is turning good in the past few, but I need more good luck!

Yogi Bhajan describes Subagh Kriya this way: "It's a complete set. This is all called Subagh Kriya. If God has written with His own hands that you shall live under misfortune, then by doing Subagh Kriya you can turn your misfortune into prosperity, fortune, and good luck. I'm going to give you a very handy tool, one that you can use anywhere, and you'll become rich. To become rich and prosperous, with wealth and values, is to have the strength to come through. It means that transmissions from your brain and the power of your intuition can immediately tell you what to do." It sure would be nice to never feel the pull to work in a strip club again just because I'm hurting for money. It would be nice to buy my Dad a house. I need this. I know what he means by his words above: this Kriya gives you strength, intuition and the clear-headedness to make better choices in life that will lead to prosperity. It increases your energy and your auric connection in such a way as to 'attract' opportunity. This idea is hard for me to swallow, but I'm trying. Everything else has worked. Could I really become prosperous AND healthy AND happy? I'm mostly healthy (a far sight better than years ago), sometimes happy...can I just Trust? In God? In Saraswati? In Kubera? In Ganesha? Wahe Guru!?!