...and not have to do everything along with the students. Subbing tonight was fun, and I taught preps for hanstand, headstand and forearm balance. I also got my new traction device to help get my cervical curve back. I also got a slew of 'abusive' text messages from various businesses that I had to text 'STOP' to, and a certain someone denies being the mastermind. He also sent me another condscending and patronizing e-mail at "exactly" the moment I began my Banishings to clear space, Invocations and Middle Pillar to raise energy, and Liber Vel Reguli to sever the connection between us. I burned Tetragrammaton incense, and personal effects, then closed the ritual to find this new message. I fired back and let rip on all the things I wanted to say three years ago about sexual addictions, manipulations, hospital visits, hypocricy and lies. I told him that I thought it funny how he was re-using my exact words from three years ago to get back at me. I said I definitely don't have to listen to his bullshit if he doesn't want to talk to me, and to get off his high horse.
I guess he thought I'd apologize for his bad behaviour like I have in the past. I guess he thought he could manipulate me again like he did when he broke up with me in '07 just before my 40th, because I wouldn't have sex with him when he wanted it, only to try to entice me back with promises of changed behaviour and offers to finish setting up my website...none of which materialized. I guess he thought, like he did at New Year's '08 when he broke up with me again because I wouldn't have sex right then, that he could just make me feel like shit for askng him to be a decent human being. He's wrong.
I verbally ripped his throat out with that e-mail I sent back, and I burned all of his pictures in my ritual banishing. I watched as the sky at dusk lit up with two clouds: one shaped strangely like the dragon-headed incense burner his photo's ashes were smoldering in, the other like my carved goddess from Oaxaca, Mexico. They are opposite each other in my meditation room, and they were opposite each other in the sky. The goddess cloud had a bunch of little fluffy dinosaur figures behind her, and I watched as her cloud seemed to lunge at the dragon and then lightning flashed behind the dragon and burnt a hole in his middle!
I was honestly psyched. I was so angry at him back in '08 after my ER for bleeding abrasions internally that I wished he would reap what he sowed, literally. He kinda did back then...he fell and badly scraped his hand. I relish the thought that he's had his hand slapped this time too. I've had enough. Tired of being compassionate. Kali and Durga are behind me, I'm sure, and I feel righteous in defending my energy because his bull was draining me AGAIN, and guess what? After Banishing him so brutally, my hips and shoulders are MORE open in Bound. Must not have been a bad thing. Must have been a much needed release from him. If he were actually smart, he'd be as dangerous as the man who stalked me, but he isn't. He's just a pathetic jerk I said goodbye to...
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