The Gesture of Fearlessness

On this day, April 30th, I would have finished 90 Days of 'Praanpathi Namo Namo', but on day 86 I forgot...so I began again three days ago. I love how it makes me feel alive, and eases my breathing and my fear. In 8 more days I will have completed 120 days of 'Releasing Fear'. I think that has a LOT to do with all the rage, both current and old.

Also, on this day, exactly 65 years ago, the city of Munich became occupied by the Nazis. Writing about 'gestures of fearlessness' seems appropriate for all of the above reasons.

"One very simple mudra that is quite nice is the 'abhaya' mudra, also called 'the gesture of fearlessness'. It is depicted in statuary and paintings of both Buddhist and Hindu deities. Abhaya mudra symbolizes protection, serenity, and the elimination of fear. Simply raise the right hand to the chest at the level of the heart with the palm facing out and fingers pointing toward the sky." (p. 67, "Yoga for Magick", Nancy Wasserman, Weiser, 2007)

This mudra, is the one I came into spontaneously one day in the summer of 2006, while being stalked in the daylight as I walked through Forest Park, right next to Kingshighway, in a supposedly safe area. As dusk began to fall, the man got bolder, and then I knew it was for real. At first I stopped breathing. Then I turned and walked toward him, stopping short of a few feet, and choosing not to speak. The man asked my name. He asked if I had a boyfriend. I did not respond. He made the symbol for 'crazy'. I did not respond to his taunt.

I somehow 'knew' that he could understand me without words, so I projected the thought for him to leave me alone. He got cockier instead and strode toward me with his arms out intending to grab me. My left hand had my mala beads for chanting the Sanskrit mantra for Lakshmi, which I was silently chanting at the time, allowing me to remain somewhat calm; and I felt my right hand come up in the gesture of stopping him, which IS Abhaya mudra. At the moment my right palm faced him, I literally felt a shot of electricity come from my palm. Within seconds he fell back as if I had hit him without touching him. I was mentally really surprised, but my face did not register it, as I dropped my hand, walked toward him, and held out the same hand to shake his...my thought was to him: "Don't you ever do that to me again, or any other woman, and I want you to promise me, and seal that promise with a handshake." He stretched out his hand, which was trembling, and shook mine. I smiled and turned to walk away. When I looked back, he was gone, faster than lightning.

As I was writing these words now, my mystical Catholic friend from Monday just called! I'd told him this very same story on Monday, and he'd said that such things were possible, the Saints had done them, those who practice martial arts too, and usually, though, could only do it when it was really necessary. He said the balance was off with this guy, and what he and my father would call The Holy Spirit, and I would call the goddess, had entered into me for that time.

I later found a statue of Lakshmi in Abhaya mudra, and she sits with my statues, or murtis of Kali and Saraswati and Vishnu, as they are all a part of Vaishnodevi, the Hindu deity I am devoted to.

My new mystical 'male' friend with a human heart and kind soul, had asked which Hindu manifestation of the Divine I am devoted to, and when I am not busy pursuing the idea that God ultimately doesn't need a face, I am devoted to this deity. This is how I see God, so that I can conceptualize something that really is not conceivable.

In the words of the poet Rumi:

"Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing,
There is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
The world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other'
Doesn't make any sense."

It doesn't make any sense, in the sense that it doesn't need to. Those experiences of Samadhi, of resting in Grace, are like the candy Ganesha throws on the path for lovers of 'the Friend', to let them know that consciousness is real. At least in my mind. Or maybe, sometime soon, I hope, in my heart. And the paths of the magician, the Mage, and the Mystic, are not that far removed. We live in a magickal world. And I am now ready to do Bound Lotus. Again. As Yogi Bhajan says, "Keep Up and you will be Kept Up".