One gives the benefit of allowing one's anger to be controlled. The other, the removal of spiritual and worldly dignities and prelaces, prompting someone standing still to run. In one hand the ebony wand (as opposed to the rosewood one), in the other, a cup of Yogi Tea. Decisions. Decisions. I suppose I shall do Bound Lotus while I contemplate. Then I may leaf more carefully through various and sundry books...possibly only for leisurely perusal and study. Many are beckoning me, riffling their pages. I've only just left off reading a dialogue of the man named Robert who casts such a sinister shadow in McEwan's "The Comfort of Strangers". Oh, for the two of us to be lost deep in the calles of Venice, late at night, while the floodwaters cover The Piazza San Marco. To see him walk across The Bridge of Sighs like the prisoners of old. To hear him sigh, but not out of relief. No 'passiagetta de mezza note' for me.
But on second thought, why raise my blood pressure any further with this exumation of white hot rage and anger from deep in the depths of my psyche's bondage to fears of the past? As a funeralgoer falls into processing old grief, so the invasive behaviour of one man has prompted the experience of old emotions buried deep. Can I not just let them go? Not once in my past as a Wiccan and Ceremonial Magician did I ever summon the Goes. Why should I now? What is this kind of anger doing to me but raising my blood pressure sky high? I want to let it go... All Ceremonial Magicians know of The Goetia, but it is rarely used. That is not The Way...tempting as it is. The Blue Pearl Meditation would better serve me... As I witness myself passing through and releasing deeply held, bone-crushing, soul-destroying anger and rage.
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