It feels as if the energy present during Kundalini Winter Solstice is infusing itself into my surroundings. When I awoke, the energy in my bedroom felt clear. The room feels huge! It feels somehow very different. When I first woke up, I didn't even know where I was...but the way I've always wished for my whole apartment to feel like my meditation room does is now a reality. I feel that peace in every room. This is from all of the chanting, the singing, the pujas, kriyas and yoga I do.
I'm drawn to several practices, chanting in Gurmukhi and Kriyas, that I want to do in conjunction with Bound Lotus, as well as for the 40 days of clearing from White Tantric Yoga. The 'Moon Kriya' I've already done for two days at Sat Inder's suggestion. But I also want to chant the "akhan jor chupay na jor" to release fear and create trust in my inner guidance. And this morning I found a Kirtan Kriya for women to heal and release attachments to men from past sexual relationships. It is to release the seeds implanted by sexual intercourse and to let go of the past. I think I need to do these practices, and be willing to let go of some others. I also feel that Yogi Bhajan was supposed to be my teacher back in 2000, but I avoided him and the opportunity to meet him in his lifetime. When I got too sick to do asana practices I was drawn to Amma.
But now it seems the torch is being passed to Yogi Bhajan. Amma is like my mother, but she gives you the fish. So many people coming to see her are not growing any further, not because she won't help them, because she will, but I think because it is too easy for them not too. They come to her for energy instead of learning to tune in and create their own. I know this is judgement, but her teachings served their purpose for me at a time in my spiritual growth when I needed my hand held tightly as I crossed the street. Now it is time to explore what is on this side of the street, and let go of my mother's hands...both the spirit of my birth mother and Amma.
I will still go to see her, but I feel she is telling me to move on from her classroom to the next. It's like Yogi Bhajan is my new homeroom teacher, but I'm free to still take a class with Amma if I want. I'm cool with this. It seems like the next step. And on day 55 of Bound Lotus, I'm in the middle of the 90 days it takes to create a new change. It feels kind of like a Square Dance, or more like Contra-Dancing. I can hear the caller saying: "Turn to the left! Promenade!" White Tantric felt like that with all of the geometric lines, and the energies moving on the diagonals.
I went to see the movie 'Avatar', and found myself missing everyone at Solstice terribly. When the blue people, the Na'vi, sit in circle and circle around from the waist and shake their arms and chant, I realized that is what we all would have looked like doing White Tantric Yoga. And the soul tree would be the facilitator and the spirit of the Siri Singh Sahib. This movie that is so popular is dead on about saving the earth, about searching for the peace of nature instead of cars, diamond rings and watches.
I listened to the bani 'So Purkh' today in English and it is incredibly beautiful! I want to fall asleep to it. I asked Dad if I could sing it for him and he said yes. This is a chant that only women sing, and they sing it for the men to heal them of wanting to start wars, to make them saintly, and to heal anger and deep grief. It is so beautiful! Who knew that Bound Lotus would take me to these places in my soul that I have been? Only God.
No comments:
Post a Comment