Phoenix Amira Lei...or really what sounded like Phoenix Amora Lei, or Phoenix 'A'-something-'Moora' Lei...was given to me in a dream in 2007. When Ammachi would not yet give me a Spiritual Name, I needed a name to start my business that felt right and would not alert my stalker at the time to my whereabouts. I heard this name in my dream. I couldn't quite make out the 'Amoora' part, but it sounded like Amora. When I spelled out Phoenix Amora Lei, I realized that the middle name with the last initial looked like the word: amoral; so I changed it to Amira, which is Arabic for "female leader". Yesterday, as I sang the Aquarian Sadhana mantras for the 4th day in a row, I looked down at the words: Akal Moorat, and thought: "That's it! That's what they said in the dream!"
But 3HO insists otherwise. Akal Moorat was not even what I wanted as a Gurmukhi name in the Kundalini Yoga tradition...I wanted something that would remind me of my birth name that I can no longer safely use. But, oddly, Akal Moorat resonates with me. It means: Deathless, Undying. That fits with Phoenix too. The name 3HO gave me was supposed to be chosen astrologically. But that can't be true. I know enough about astrology to know that they would need not only the latitude and longitude of my birthplace, but the birth time as well. The form I filled out did not ask for this. Their name they gave much less personally through the e-mail cannot be my destined name in the Sikh tradition. It feels all wrong.
They've told me as well that Yogi Bhajan said a Spiritual Name can be given only once. But he also used to chose people's spouses for them, and in later years, before he died, that was not the case. So why do they have to insist I accept a name that does not feel like me at all? They don't. And I politely refused to align myself with their choice, while thanking them anyway. Thinking about accepting made my soul feel crushed. I felt awful. Choosing to reaffirm Phoenix Amira Lei as my name filled me with the energy and blessings it has since I took it in 2007. As I sit in Bound Lotus THAT name is what I will meditate upon...
P.hoen(Ix Chel)Amira Lei...dian. Underneath the Mexican Moon goddess of silvery light...painting like Frieda Khalo...singing like 'the happy hermit' Johnette Napolitano...daughter of the Lei tribe...gothic child, flowerchild...following the Sikh vibe. Coming from the seven stars...seven chakras...with work to do on Venus and Mars...that hideous strength...the Sword that slices cords. A bird, a flower...who are you?
ReplyDelete