Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! I hurt like a mofo earlier, now I feel so Fab-U-Lous after Saul David Raye's 1st day of his workshop and Ecstatic Dancing...spinning like the Tasmanian Devil, a Whirling Dervish. Shrooms were never this much fun! Acid wasn't. Dancing rocks! I keep thinking: "Why so serious?" Saul was saying not to get so serious that you lose the spirit. Don't let your practice become mechanical. I'm so high on God, I can't sit still, but I better, or I'll have to start this practice all over! Now for Bound Lotus!
Okay, so that was 'grounding'. Ouch. Not as easy as yesterday. I was irritable, anxious, panicky, more than seriously annoyed with my right leg for not doing what I wanted it to do, my forehead itched, I missed the bliss I felt from dancing, I was cussing out the wanna-be cultleader I used to "know" ( I haven't wasted my time thinking about his stupid ass in a while), and I was annoyed at the variation in speed with which Snatam Kaur sings the Ray Man Shabd.
In other words, I have been ALL OVER the map emotionally today...just as Saul was describing earlier as a feature of the emotional make-up of children. Children are honest about their feelings and able to be "present" at extremes of emotion. Of course, our culture considers that capacity to be dysfunctional in adults. I'm sorry. I think I'd rather be like a child. Isn't that what Jesus said we needed to do? He wasn't wrong. I think a healthy and emotionally honest individual is able to be peaceful at times, but not always; sometimes there are moments of anger, sometimes of bliss. Mahan Kirn talks about this. I'm not alone.
I want to throw Paul Simon's "Rhythm of the Saints" in the CD player and dance around my living room. I used to do that. My fluffy ragdoll cat would sit on the coffee table and bob his head in time, while I spun like a Sufi, and dipped and swirled. Today at Saul's I did this for the first time in public, and I loved it! The bliss was fun even though it didn't last... the anger I felt later was not fun, and thankfully, it didn't last; but I could be present for both. Everything has it's season...
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