"Music for 1001 Nights"...

Quite exhausted last night, I didn't know how I'd finish both Bound Lotus and a mantra practice I've undertaken for 40 days that ends today...so I thought instrumental music to accompany my chanting would at least make it easier, just as it does for Bound Lotus. I had been looking for fresh new music to teach by on iTunes, and had purchased several pieces that I listened to last night including Moroccan Spirit's "Dervishe" and "Music for 1001 Nights". Hm. Seems as if I might listen to the latter for savasana after Bound Lotus...ha, ha!

But the following pieces were also music to soothe the savage beast in me:

Raga Bairagi Bhairav: Alap by Debashish Bhattacharya from the album "Rainbow"
Raag Bhairavi (Meera Bhajan Pt 1) - "Nectar" by Kala Ramnath
Raga Rageshri Alap - "Nectar" by Kala Ramnath
Prabhati (based on Raga Gunkali) - Ravi Shankar with Yehudi Menuhin
Pangkur from "Java: The Jasmine Isle: Gamelan Music

I felt so rejuvinated! I'll play them again today to finish the practice of 10 full malas of a Sun Mantra, 5 full malas of a Saturn Mantra, and 1 full mala of a Moon Mantra. I undertook them for health reasons, and they seem to be clearing out my body.

My dreams are strange and alarmingly vivid lately. For a long while I did not remember my dreams. For the past few weeks since beginning the practice of Bound Lotus...they are life-like. Two nights ago I dreamed I was back in Jamaica on the cliffs of Negril riding a bicycle bound for 'Amrita'ville. Last night I dreamed of phallic symbols.

Sexual energy is the same energy as spiritual energy, and sometimes, in both instances, it is a little raw. I feel a little raw and angry. I'm nice to people, but that doesn't mean they should mistake my kindness for weakness. I taught a beautiful class tonight and my student were smiling and laughing when they left, but these two arrogant "seasoned yogis", as they call themselves, in the following chose to be 'catty' toward us because I ended the class five minutes late, even though there was still plenty of time for them to come in. They stuck up their noses at me, and said "Excuse me," in that snotty way women will. I've heard them judge my teaching before and say that it is not hard enough, as if Yoga were only about 'getting a yoga butt'. The sort of women who say things like, "Ah, you know I'm Level 3 now." They are just missing the whole damn boat, I think. But what do I know.

Honestly, I wanted to be snotty right back. I wonder what Bound Lotus will bring up for me today? Should I have done the practice earlier in the day? Would I have been less likely to want to flip those women off? Honestly, speaking from my throat chakra after finishing an arduous 40-day mantra practice, there are quite a few people I'd like to flip off. But I won't.

As I prepare to sit for Bound Lotus, I am aware that my sex drive is being sublimated upwards through the practice of moola bhanda at the end of the practice. This includes the wild, unrestrained energy I've been feeling. A calmness and a sense of peace come over me like never before with this practice, and I am grateful for this practice. It is healing me in so many ways, though it is sometimes very, very hard to take.