111 Days of Bound Lotus

Yes, if I started again in May, this is where I am at. I have begun to write more privately, because there are issues I am dealing with that have led me down a rather dark path to try and befriend some painful inner demons of hate. Among other things, I am planning my own version of a magickal ritual to heal my Erishkegal, and go down like Orpheus into Hades to retrieve Eurydice. It appears that like Persephone, I have eaten too many pomegranate seeds. These are seeds of anger and rage that have germinated and grown, have spread like weeds or dandelions, and every time I think I've cleared a field they come back in greater numbers.

This is the truth of what Tsultrim Allione writes in her book "Feeding Your Demons". The Hydra just grows more heads, and the last one is immortal, so burying it is pointless and worse. It will just give the demon greater power. So, in my version of the Tibetan practice of Chöd, without a bell, thighbone trumpet or drum, I am honoring my demons by dialoguing with them in the form of the Vodoun Loa/Lwa. Many of the older spiritual egregores in that religion are more daemons than demons, guiding spirits that have been demonized and and lumped in with those that actually are more demonic. In theory, Vodoun does not seperate good from evil, but in practice there are Rada Loa like Erzulie Freda, full of love and beauty, Papa Legba who is like a Ganesha of sorts; and there are Guede or Ghede who are the spirits of our dead ancestors, who cuss a lot and are disrespectful and a bit mercenary, but funny. The Petro Loa are like spirit egregores of all the rage, hate and pain within the African diasporic past.

I feel a connection to the path of Vodoun, and have begun to metaphysically clear the closets of my mind as well as my physical closets. These entities seem no different than the Tibetan Buddhist Wrathful deities that we must pass through and befriend. And the Tibetan brand of Buddhism blends with their native Bon religion, which seems much like the African Fon religion out of which Vodoun grew. And yes, there is evil, there are Bocors and Caplatas who exploit the Petro loa, just as there were great sorcerers like Milarepa in the mists of Tibetan Buddhist antiquity, and Thug Cults surrounding Kali in the Hindu faith.

But there are also those who have befriended Kali and allowed her to become a protectress. And the same with Ganesha in the distant past who became both a giver and remover of obstacles from his past as a more wrathful deity. My demons and Voodoun's demons can become daemons...guides and friends, no longer enemies. I don't want to fight anymore...I want to be friends.